Hike #40 - August 12, 2021

Since JC doesn't have a car on the weekends, and I have "wellness days" to use up by the end of the month, we head out on a Thursday to hike. 

Despite giving myself enough time to drop Annie off with a dog sitter, I am running late. And then I realize that I'm heading to the parking at our starting point and need to turn around and drive another 15 minutes to where JC is waiting.

This is CPTSD brain in (in)action. It feels like I haven't been able to think straight for weeks. I normally freak out about disappointing people by showing up late, thanks to my ex-husband who would take it personally and put me down for it. JC is not that person, so I'm only a tiny bit thrown off/scattered. I do, however, have a rock for him that I found on my last hike. It has a fossilized seashell print in it and it's perfect for him. 

It is hot. It's 94% humidity (what does that even mean) and thankfully our first few km are easy - down a steep hill and along the road through Kimberley before tackling the steep hill up to Old Baldy. The first mushroom is spotted! 

The trail doesn't take up directly to the cliff face of Old Baldy and it's too long of a side trip to make given what we are trying to tackle. Another time, maybe? 

At the top of Old Baldy, I lose my sense of direction right away, not helped by a re-route that isn't on our maps. Later on in the hike we vow to check the BTC website for re-routes BEFORE we head out. On the plus side, it takes us off the road and we find puddles filled with frogs plus 2 giant puffballs. 

Back on the road for a bit, we stop to chat with some adorable cows. 

Back in the forest, more mushrooms!

Looking at my MANY mushroom photos later, I realize that the photos are pretty crap. I had strapped my glasses to my head using my new strap, which works great, but I hadn't factored in how quickly they would fog up and I end up not being able to wear them for the entire hike. 

On the map, there is a curious label of 'penstocks' and we eventually find these, after climbing a steep hill with no shade. 

I need to start strength training to make my body stronger so I can get better at these damn hills. But I'm also not invested in doing anything for my body to keep it alive. Sometimes I don't even want to eat to fuel my body to keep it alive, especially as I continue to struggle with stomach issues. I know I'm thinking from a place of major depression, and not being invested in staying alive. The BT E2E started as a goal to keep me alive. Something to tackle when everything else is meaningless. I know it will take me at least another year to finish it; I'm at 40% done at this point. I'm thinking the Dufferin Hi-lands section in the fall, Iroquoia in the winter, and then finding a way to get Syndenham and Peninsula done with some back-to-back weekend hikes. Sometimes during the hikes, I want to give us this stupid goal. What does it even matter? 

Hey, look...a strange structure in the middle of the forest. (read: skilled at changing the subject when things get too hard to talk about)

Hey, look, a sinkhole!

It's great to reach the Beaver River and to take a moment to enjoy the cool air here.

We can hear Eugenia Falls and can see the drop but we need to make our way around and over a bridge before we can spot it through the trees. 

By this point, I am very tired and not having fun anymore. But there's no option to bail out. HAH SOUNDS LIKE MY FUCKING LIFE. 

At one point we realize it's taken us an hour to go 2 km because of hills and distractions. The last 6 km are hard. We opt not to stop for our scheduled snack break and push through, especially since the mosquitos are pretty terrible and I can feel them biting through my tank and bra.   The heat and humidity are making me so tired and I'm hungry and already thinking about getting a burger on the way home. 

We opt to do the side trail back to the car barefoot and this makes my knee much happier. It's just 500 metres or so, but it's good to feel the ground and be able to move my body differently. 

The Boyne river is just steps from JC's car, so I wade right in (after stopping to pee). 

I've packed my swim gear, but I am all out of time and can't go to Eugenia Lake for a dip, since I need to pick Annie up from the dog sitter. I stop in Orangeville on the way home and buy myself $10 worth of McDonald's: a double burger with cheese and bacon, a sausage McMuffin and a fudge sundae. I haven't had a McD's burger in ages and they taste just as terrible as they did then. And a sundae is a hard thing to eat while driving in a car in the dark. 

Annie is happy to get home and is super cute the next day. I think she missed me. 

Stats:

starting near marker 43.5

ending near marker 64.8

total hiked today: 21.3-ish. There was a re-route, but also a side trail.

total Bruce Trail hiked since starting: 382.8 km

Hike #39 - August 8, 2021

I am having big grief. My hiking partner isn't available on the weekends right now, so I returned to the Iroquoia section to have feelings in the woods while distracting myself with podcasts. 

I can see a difference in my face these days, with the Big Grief happening. I don't know if anyone else notices, but there isn't really anyone around *to* notice. I'm very much working on Fake It 'Til You Make It and it's exhausting. 

LJ meets me at my end point to drive me to my start point, where I left off in *checks notes* April. She walks with me for 10 minutes or so, but I'm glad when she leaves so I can be alone. 

This hike takes me through all sorts of Hamilton. 

Some of the scenery reminds me of my lockdown hikes, since I'm going in and out of forest, onto a rail trail, and then on busy roadways. At one point I have to crawl thru fallen trees that are blocking the trail. 

It's a bit confusing at times on the rail trail portions, as blazes are few and far between. When I poke my head into the forest on each side, I can see trails, but no blazes. At least there is some good moss along the rail trail. 

Eventually I come to the Wentworth stairs, which I had been dreading. 

At the top of the stairs I meet some people who are preparing to head down them. We chat and I learn that he is training for the El Camino trail and has signed on to write a book about it, as someone with chronic disability. In the few minutes we chat they both tell me they're queer and they are both really cute, and I get his name. I have zero game when it's 29C. Or at any temperature really. 

This is probably the weirdest portion of the hike. I have a 17th edition of the guidebook and I should look up to see how this section has changed over the years. 

Back into the forest, I can see evidence of encampments and party spots. One spot has the remnants of several naloxone kits. Later on, I come across needles and I don't have anything on me to dispose of them. I shove one off the trail and cover it with a broken bottle. 

This is a good hike for mushroom spotting, and I find ones that I haven't seen before, including oyster mushrooms and this raspberry slime mould. 

There are also a number of waterfalls on this hike but some have been fenced off. 

I overshoot where I've parked my car because I get distracted on a phone call to MEG, who I call to keep my company in the last 10 minutes. It's hot and I'm lonely and have been thinking too much and I know she's always up to distract me. 

In a brilliant move a few weeks ago, I had thrown my swim gear into the car, since the Beaver Valley section is close to Lake Eugenia. Once I get back to my car, I drive down to Van Wagner's beach, awkwardly change in the car (so sweaty!) and go for a quick dip. It feels incredible. I haven't been swimming yet this season and after all the swims last summer, I realize just how much I've missed being in the water. 

This lifts my mood a lot, as does the stop at SAIL on the way home to buy new water bottles (my Nalgene cracked, and my water bladder leaks) and a glasses strap, since my glasses have been sliding off during hikes due to sweat. 

Bonus: Home is only an hour away. Plus this felt like an "easy" 17 km hike, given the amount of pavement. 

Stats:

starting near marker 23.2

ending near marker 40.5

total hiked today: 17.3 km

total Bruce Trail hiked since starting: 361.5 km