Hike #38 July 25 2021

It's a full moon, and since I sleep with my blinds partially open, I'm awake at 4:27 am, over a half hour before my alarm is set to go off. Meh, why not get up early? Feel less rushed. Walk Annie in the moonlight. 

I've done a bit of googling about this stretch but nothing prepared me for driving up a gravel road at a 60 degree angle to get to the end parking spot. 

I haven't been in this section of Ontario and I want to explore it more, but I arrive at 8 am to hit the trail and by the time we wrap up, everything is closed PLUS I am so stinky and dirty. When I'm done the end-to-end, I would like to come back to certain sections and made day trips of seeing the sights, and not just focus on hiking. 

I know the area is popular among climbers and this is why. 

Someone has attached anchors to this rock. Holy shit. 

While JC is super cautiously admiring the view, and I'm off in the bushes looking for a place to pee, I hear the noise of a large animal come running up. Their breaths are heavy. Their footfalls are too. I see a black blur, and then the owner calls back their large angry dog that we both thought was a bear. JC is shook and I do not love that it all happened while I had my back turned. 

After reading way too much about ghost pipes vs pinesaps, I can ascertain that this is ghost pipe. We spot it on two occasions on this hike. 

JC had mentioned the Metcalfe Side Trail, so we start climbing into this crevice over giant rocks. I really love the side trail blue blaze. So much so that I tattooed it on my leg last fall. My constant reminder that I'm not on the main path, but I'm still having fun.*

*Actually, as I write this, I am not having fun. I'm wrestling with BIG GRIEF FEELINGS over the two-year mark since having seen N for a whole 20 minutes in a parking lot. I've cried. I've gotten stoned on a weeknight. I hate every minute of this. I want this pain to go away THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 

Here's a bunch of photos to distract you from my pain...

Here are some mushrooms

That last one is a chanterelle, which I only confirm two days later and after JC and I have a talk about chanterelles having thinner stalks. I was wrong. 

Hey, surprise waterfalls! We're in the Duncan Caves park, but I can find zero info on these waterfalls. 

Shortly after the snack alarm goes off and we start looking for a spot to sit and take in the view. As I make my way to a lookout I remark that it should have a bench. And then a bench fucking appears!

By this point, my knee is unhappy. So unhappy. I mark this at 1:15 pm, and later calculate we were just 9 km in at this point. Thankfully a nice road section appears and I can just concentrate on putting my feet down on a flat surface instead of picking thru rocks and roots. 

This is the level of dirt I enjoy. Getting dirty reminds me of being a kid; my therapist has been trying to get me to do inner child work. My inner child does not want to talk about being a child. 

For some reason, this is the hike where JC gets deep about his relationships, and I tell him about not trusting the interest I'm getting from someone online, because he's too hot* for me so it's obviously catfishing, right? It's so good to have these convos. EW and I had these convos before he got all partnered up. I miss that friendship. 

*Once I add him on WhatsApp, he goes silent. Fuck this dating shit*

My right knee hates this hike. Like, HATES IT. And my left shoulder and arm are numb from fuck-knows-what (likely a pinched nerve). I'm super angry at my body for pulling this shit when I finally get it together to get active. 

This is more of an exciting sign for JC than me, as I need to go back and finish two sections that he's already completed. Tobermory is 415 km away. I am having Tobermory memories as of late (it's been a year since I left and never went back) and I also have to avoid photos of it because it still fucking hurts. 

I can't believe that dude ruined an entire PENINSULA for me!

We had talked about going barefoot for the last bit of this hike and JC goes for it. I need a bit more time in my boots, so decide to keep them on until we reach the plaque on the map. Which is attached to this rock face (look to the left).

Did my knee stop hurting as soon as I took my boots off? YUP. This hiking has been hard on my feet as well. I have toenail trauma that requires a fucking $50 session with a chiropodist with a dremel tool every few months. 

I arrive home dirty and smelly and tired but stop for a double burger with bacon and cheese just 10 minutes from home. I know I'm not feeding myself enough on these hikes, but I'm also wrestling with not wanting to gain back the weight I lost. Hello disordered eating! 

The next day JC lets me know he won't have access to a car again until September so we will figure things out, I think. I had gotten used to our Sunday routine. 

I have therapy on Tuesday night and talk about how I just hit the two-year mark of the last time I saw my kid. 

And mid-week my physiotherapist tells me I need to do strength training if I'm going to keep this up. 

I'm having a whole lot of grief and I'm mad at my body. I don't know how to build my body up and I'm terrible at doing things that are good for me (my therapist links this to no one caring for me as a kid, but that's really just a fucking THEME for my life). I finally call my dr because I want to talk about ADHD (is it ADHD? is it trauma brain? Will we ever know? Will I be able to take meds while dealing with high blood pressure?) and he's not available until mid August. 

I'm spiralling.