Hike #42, September 5, 2021

Two more hikes of Beaver Valley to go. JC asked me if a date-friend of his could come on a hike for Monday (Sept 4), but I let him know I can't deal with new people while deep in grief. So he cancelled (was no longer available?). Another life lesson about how I'm really just fucking going it solo in this life. We have our next hike planned and hopefully we can just finish up this section and go our separate ways? 

I'm not sure whether I'm being sensitive, or whether he is the kind of person to abandon friendship when dating someone. Maybe both? 

I've routed myself to do Dufferin Hi-Lands solo this fall, with the plan to move onto Iroquoia in the winter months. 

I decided to work this section backwards because parking has changed in the Mono Cliffs Provincial Park. The rain stopped as soon as I got close to my parking spot after I mentally figured out how I would hike in the rain without a raincoat. Because I got up at my usual 5 am, but my drive was 1 hr 15, I go to see the sun rise.

I had not anticipated the various terrains of this hike. It starts in forest but then takes you thru fields until you reach a 2 km road section. Podcasts kept me company. 

It was nice to reach the wooded provincial park section and spot some fun things. 

This is a really nice spot for a day trip, I think. You'd have to time it right to avoid the crowds of people. As I took a snack break around 11 am and prepared to start by return portion, about 40 people arrived at once. 

Thankfully there was a side trail to take 3 km off my return hike. It wasn't long until I was back on that road, listening to a podcast about a person dying and the friends who take care of him. I wonder who would show up if I was dying from cancer? More thoughts of dying, of being alone, of tackling the rest of the trail solo, and how the need to finish it is keeping me from killing myself. I am so alone. 

Back in the fields, it made sense to go shirtless. I hadn't seen anyone in ages, and it doesn't matter anyway. I need to soak up the sun as much as possible. 

I did come across 2 other hikers, who had a hard time making eye contact with me, blinded by my fat white belly. 

Look at all these things! 

Almost at the end, I spotted some feathers on the ground. A freshly removed set of wings from a tiny bird. 

No rush to get home so I took selfies at the car. 

I resent having evidence that my body housed a baby when that kid wants nothing to do with me. 

I went into Shelbourne to kill time. There's a Foodland there with British chips, so I bought some for JJ. A produce stand sold me tomatoes that I hope don't taste as bad as the ones from the No Frills. I also went to the coin cash wash and washed the car myself for the first time. I even finally installed the new wiper blades that had been in the back seat for a month. Going thru the glove box, I found remnants of that Tobermory life and tossed them all. 

starting near marker 3.1

ending near marker 13.3

total hiked today: 10.2 + 7 (McCarston's Lake side trail saved me 3 km on the return)

total Bruce Trail hiked since starting: 413.2 km